Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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