and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
