My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
