Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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