According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
