Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
