ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
