my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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