remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
