What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
