we have pet lesbian snakes
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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