its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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