i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
