she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
