if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
