I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
