I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
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