haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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