Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
