just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
