Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
