yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize