While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
