I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
