You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
