it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
