I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
