Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
