Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
