I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
