i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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