Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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