Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
