This girl is more easily done than said...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
