Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize