Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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