I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
