Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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