Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
