is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
