You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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