Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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