If i come over, it means nothing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
