No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
