I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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