there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Actions speak louder than pants.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
