Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.

(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you Grey Goose.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.

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(205): View more from Alabama

my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.

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(915): View more from Texas

Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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(973): View more from New Jersey

U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

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(847): View more from Illinois

Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes

(778): View more from British Columbia

Thought it was at Brad's?

(250): View more from British Columbia

Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.

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