She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
