My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My balls are so social today.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
be right there i have to get my cape
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize