In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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