I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize