I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
