Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
