then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I puked a lego.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
