he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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