just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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