Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
