Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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