Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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