I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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