Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
