Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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