Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
