Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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