Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
