I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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